Rachel Eliza Griffiths: A Life Marked by Love and Tragedy
In her latest memoir, The Flower Bearers, Rachel Eliza Griffiths opens up about a life intertwined with profound joy and devastating loss. The poet, novelist, and visual artist shares her experiences of marrying Salman Rushdie, the renowned author, and the unexpected tragedies that followed, including the sudden death of her best friend and the shocking attack on Rushdie.
A Wedding Day Shadowed by Sorrow
The year 2021 was meant to be a year of celebration for Griffiths. She had just married Salman Rushdie, and their friends and family had gathered to witness the joyous occasion. Among the guests was her best friend, poet Kamilah Aisha Moon, who was set to deliver a speech. However, the day took a dark turn when Moon never showed up.
Griffiths was still in her wedding dress when she received the devastating news: Moon had died unexpectedly. The shock was so profound that it left Griffiths in a dissociative state, feeling as though she were observing herself from outside her own body. "There was a moment literally where I felt I was looking down at this woman who was this gorgeous bride and the agony and anguish in her body," Griffiths recalls.
"Many parts of my wedding day are blacked out in my memory and are not available to me," she adds. "It's very hard for me even to look at photographs or anything from my wedding day and feel connected to it."
The Attack on Salman Rushdie
Eleven months after their wedding, Griffiths faced another life-altering event. Rushdie was stabbed multiple times while being interviewed on stage at the Chautauqua Institution. The attack left him with serious injuries, including blindness and impaired mobility.
As Griffiths rushed to be with Rushdie, she herself fell down a flight of stairs, adding another layer of trauma to an already chaotic situation. "When I got up and realized I hadn't broken my neck or broken a bone, I just really was like, 'That's the last time you fall down. You cannot risk your safety. You cannot be running around with your head off your shoulders. You need to focus now,'" she says.
Surviving in 'Survivor Mode'
In the aftermath of the attack, Griffiths found herself in what she calls "survivor mode." She had to conserve her energy to navigate the complex situation, supporting Rushdie and managing the emotional and physical toll of the events.
"I didn't cry in the hospital room because I just didn't think that would be helpful. And really, I didn't have the energy. I had to conserve energy for all of these different balls that were all in the air," she explains. "There were moments where I cried in a lot of corners and stairwells. And yeah, I threw up a lot. I was really sick. My whole body was in shock."
Reflections on Marriage and Resilience
Despite the challenges, Griffiths remains steadfast in her commitment to Rushdie. "It's hard to watch the love of your life struggle with blindness, with impaired mobility, to feel exhausted, but I'm also trying to really look at what is there," she says. "The knife didn't take away the mind inside of my husband. It has not taken away his curiosity. It hasn't taken away how romantic he is and how he loves to plan date nights for us and watching movies together."
A Journey of Healing and Acceptance
In The Flower Bearers, Griffiths reflects on her journey, including her experience with dissociative identity disorder and her deep connection with Moon, whom she initially met through their shared identity as Black female poets. The memoir is a testament to her resilience and her ability to transform pain into strength.
"I won't let pain be 'the engine that drives the ship,'" Griffiths asserts. Her words resonate with a message of hope and perseverance, reminding readers that even in the darkest times, there is strength to be found.
Conclusion
Rachel Eliza Griffiths' memoir is a powerful narrative of love, loss, and the human capacity to endure. Through her candid and introspective storytelling, she offers readers a glimpse into the complexities of life and the enduring power of resilience. The Flower Bearers is not just a personal account but a universal story of how we navigate the highs and lows of life.
